I’m not feeling it, but I’m hanging onto that statement made by a religious comrade I am going to see today.

You see, my mom has cancer. It’s a breast cancer that was found a few weeks ago. It’s a very aggressive form that has grown to over 6cm since her last regular mammogram (it wasn’t seen at all then). Since she had stage 0 breast cancer 6 years ago, she’s been getting the higher level diagnostic mammograms for monitoring.

This new occurrence is already at stage 4, and has metastasized in her liver. The prognosis for that one is pretty grim for a younger, healthier person. But, Mom is elderly. She recently had a fall, resulting in a broken shoulder, resulting in a physical decline where she could not walk, resulting in a 3 month stint of in-patient rehabilitation, to get her stronger, so she can live with dignity and independence, even if some assistance is required. That is a story in and of itself of a terrible trek through what is now our medical and medicare bureaucratic reality.

The light at the end of the tunnel was the proverbial train, because the mass was detected during the week we were planning her discharge. She was so looking forward to moving into her new apartment and having her companion pets with her.

Naturally, she’s struggling with processing what the diagnosis means, what her options are, etc. The only promise I can make to her is that I will help her, and I will support her in her choices.

While trying to arrange for her physical and spiritual needs, I realized that I am succumbing to some depression as well. So, I reached out to a friend, who also happens to be a deacon at my church, and am going to sit with him to talk today. After I texted him and explained what was going on, we made plans to meet.

Later that day, a simple message popped up on my messages, “All shall be well.”

I’m not feeling it, but I’m hanging onto it.


A very good friend has been nagging telling me that I needed to return to blogging. I would reply with “I don’t have anything to say.” And, he would counter, and so on.

Now, as I sit here staring at the blank page after my triumphant and joyful return, I cannot think of anything to say.

Well, that is not exactly true. I could fill you all in on how significantly Medicare has changed for the worse in the past five years; I could fill you in on how horribly the elderly are being treated by our medical system administrators; I have many stories from the past few months.You see, my 77 year old mother is in the midst of an ongoing medical crisis, and we are helping her deal with it and to get through it.

Unfortunately, I am still in the middle of all of it, so it’s difficult to write about it from the inside. I’ll fill you in on the details later.

In the meantime, LOOK! A three for one sale on gangsters!


It’s alarming how much I look like my dad in this photo…